New Study Shows That Students Actually Have To Eat On Weekends

LEXINGTON, KY- A shocking recent study published in the Journal of Benign Sciences claims to have shown that college students experience statistically and clinically significant positive effects by having access to meals on the weekends. The dietetics team has been working on this study for over a year now, having started— entirely by coincidence, they… Read More New Study Shows That Students Actually Have To Eat On Weekends

Park Ranger Diaries

The following are three journal entries from the group of rangers behind the Alternative National Park Service. These entries are the only remaining evidence that these brave people existed, for their bodies, homes, and families have been erased from history during Trump’s latest attack on valid information that doesn’t benefit business. Jan 24, 2017 Day… Read More Park Ranger Diaries

The Official, Indisputable Political Alignment Quiz

You know all those online quizzes that categorize you based on your political opinions? Well, hate to burst your bubble, but they’re all fake. They’re just made up. None of them have any scientific methodology or authority behind them. EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE, THAT IS. Take the UK Colonel’s official quiz to find out what… Read More The Official, Indisputable Political Alignment Quiz

Woodland Glen Wifi Shortage Causes Collapse of Civil Society As We Know It

Engineering assignments from EGR 101 and 102, which are taught in the Woodland Glen III dorm, have reportedly been postponed by one semester due to severe internet connectivity issues for all students. Students faced dropped connections during vital discussions of the meaning of “engineering,” and turned to the faculty for assistance. A Canvas update, posted… Read More Woodland Glen Wifi Shortage Causes Collapse of Civil Society As We Know It

Holmes Hall Roommates Tentatively Cease fire

Fears of an imminent third world war have resurfaced. Theorists claim that he primary battleground of this conflict is Holmes Hall. Room 811 residents Lexi Norman and Ava Lancaster have agreed upon a provisional treatise as an attempt to resolve their underlying issues. Speculators are hoping that this agreement may lead to a future era… Read More Holmes Hall Roommates Tentatively Cease fire