Month: November 2016

University Administration in Response to Overcharging Students: “No Take-Backsies”

UK bookkeepers recently discovered that student fees were miscalculated for the Fall 2016 semester, resulting in a surplus of funds for the University. The University is as of yet undecided on where the funds will be allocated but has assured students that there will be “no take back-sies”. When reached for further comment, a representative… Read More University Administration in Response to Overcharging Students: “No Take-Backsies”

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University “Finishes” “”Buildings””

            This semester has started off spectacularly for the University administration, as new buildings have been opened up and new building names have been rolled out all over campus. At the beginning of August, the UK administration sent out an email to all students, confounding many with their statement: “UK welcomes you back to a campus… Read More University “Finishes” “”Buildings””

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Does Bernie Sanders Still Have a Chance?

Displayed is Sanders’ new “A Future to Believe In” slogan. This is representative of his new time-traveling campaign direction.   Even though Trump technically “won” the election, the fact of the matter is: Bernie Sanders still has a chance. Some scientists think that work on a time machine will be complete within the next month,… Read More Does Bernie Sanders Still Have a Chance?

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Obama Says, “What the Hell,” Appoints Himself U.S. Dictator-for-Life

In a completely unprecedented turn of events, Barack Obama, the previously lame-duck 44th President, has declared himself to be the first-ever “Dictator-for-Life” of the United States of America. “Welp,” said Obama in a private press conference while drinking a smoothie made of the blood of 83 Republicans, “the thing is, did people expect me to… Read More Obama Says, “What the Hell,” Appoints Himself U.S. Dictator-for-Life

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