UK bookkeepers recently discovered that student fees were miscalculated for the Fall 2016 semester, resulting in a surplus of funds for the University. The University is as of yet undecided on where the funds will be allocated but has assured students that there will be “no take back-sies”. When reached for further comment, a representative… Read More University Administration in Response to Overcharging Students: “No Take-Backsies”
This semester has started off spectacularly for the University administration, as new buildings have been opened up and new building names have been rolled out all over campus. At the beginning of August, the UK administration sent out an email to all students, confounding many with their statement: “UK welcomes you back to a campus… Read More University “Finishes” “”Buildings””
I have been a friend of Coal for years. My entire family are friends of Coal, and always have been. As a child, Coal would always be waiting for me at the head of my holler. Every Christmas — Coal in my stocking. Other kids would be upset, seeing Coal for Christmas, but not I.… Read More Friendzoned By Coal
Displayed is Sanders’ new “A Future to Believe In” slogan. This is representative of his new time-traveling campaign direction. Even though Trump technically “won” the election, the fact of the matter is: Bernie Sanders still has a chance. Some scientists think that work on a time machine will be complete within the next month,… Read More Does Bernie Sanders Still Have a Chance?
Donald Trump has always been very confident in his ability to pick good advisors in all areas of public policy. His repeated mantra that he will undoubtedly hire “the best, just the best, really tremendous people, I’ll tell ya folks,” has been one of the biggest draws for supporters, and one of their… Read More Trump Actually Finds Best People
In a completely unprecedented turn of events, Barack Obama, the previously lame-duck 44th President, has declared himself to be the first-ever “Dictator-for-Life” of the United States of America. “Welp,” said Obama in a private press conference while drinking a smoothie made of the blood of 83 Republicans, “the thing is, did people expect me to… Read More Obama Says, “What the Hell,” Appoints Himself U.S. Dictator-for-Life