Local Writer Procrastinates Until News Story No Longer Relevant

COLONEL STUDIOS, LEXINGTON, KY- Turning in an article literal months past the date he said he would write it, one local journalist is complete shit and slid a barely-completed article full of typos under our editing room door, apparently under the impression that this would be received with gratitude and applause. The terrible writer’s beautiful… Read More Local Writer Procrastinates Until News Story No Longer Relevant

New Origins of Humanity Revealed

MAMMOTH CAVE, KY- Last September, the momentous discoveries of Homo Naledi and Australopithecus Sediba rocked the anthropological world. However, a recent discovery by Paleoanthropologist Mitch Michaels has blown anthropologists away. Homo Naledi, recently thought to be our first ancestor of the genus Homo, has been replaced by Michaels’ new discovery. As evidenced by several fossilized… Read More New Origins of Humanity Revealed