#FreeTheBurrito

burrito nipple 2

#FreeTheBurrito. We’ve all seen the ubiquitous hashtag sweeping the virtual streets of Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, but what does it mean? It’s an inspiring statement resonating in the hearts of burritos worldwide that struggle with body image and fat-content-shaming. In a world dominated by the skinny cheese roll-ups and Quesalupas of Taco Bell ads, no real burrito can measure up to the photoshopped models on the Qdoba billboards. So why not show off real burritos’ true beauty?

This movement has done just that. Burritos everywhere have been posting unfiltered images of themselves, with the hashtag #burritobeautymatters—and it’s gone even farther, with some burritos taking revealing photos, trying to expose Instagram’s double standard of allowing burritos with male nipples to be shown, while burritos with female nipples are seen to be too “risqué.”

Said one mostly-naked burrito in the explanation of its latest pic, “#burritobeautymatters. We have to rice up and show the world that the world of food has big problems—body image problems. Sure, we’re all incredibly unhealthy for you, but that doesn’t mean that we should have unhealthy body image. I am who I am, and no expensive foil is going to change who I am on the inside: beautiful guacamole, pico de gallo, and mounds and mounds of pulled pork.”

burrito nipple 1

“My eight beautiful nipples deserve to be seen by the world,” explained one #FreeTheBurrito hashtag-user on Instagram, explaining the saucy picture it posted, which was banned from the site due to the fact that the nipples in question were female in origin. “It’s such a double standard, that all these food porn blogs get money from pictures of exposed food, but I’m not allowed to post pix for free on my own social media? I’m queSO done with this shit. Fuck the patriarcheese.”

A counter-movement has started, of course, which appears to have been originated by nachos. Though the patriarcheese is pervasive in its effects on our society, in no way does it oppress the common tortilla chip. However, these chips have been exercising their nacho privilege and attempting to drown out the # burritobeautymatters movement with their own selfies, accompanied by the hashtag #AllTexMexMatters.

Luckily, most of the online community has been ignoring the counter-movement in favor of validating and relating to the struggles that burritos deal with in their daily lives. It seems those tortilla chip trolls have been foiled again by these beautiful burritos, as they spread awareness and delicious, gooey queso everywhere.

Said one burrito about the movement, after winning a salty Twitter debate with a delicious, cheese-smothered taco, “Well, that’s a wrap.”

By Rosie Summers

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