1. Everything is in numbered bullets, because who has the attention span for paragraphs?
2. The font is just weird enough and just big enough to make you uncomfortable.
3. In an attempt to use the highest titular number possible, the writer has split a single thought…
4. …into multiple points.
6. The grammar and spelling isn’t the graetest. It’s not terribly, but it’s not well.
7. There’s an extremely obscure reference to make you feel special.
8. Remember that episode of Even Stevens where Louis has to spend 48 hours in bed for a competition?
9. There’s an extremely obvious reference to make you feel special.
10. Remember the 90’s?
12. You have said “omg that’s so true!!!!!” to yourself at least thrice.
13. ‘Little known facts’ are given, like grass is actually blue.
14. Many of said facts aren’t actually true.
15. More ‘little known facts’ are given, like Justin Timberlake is also an actor.
16. Many of said facts are already known by literally everyone on the internet.
17. But hey, whatever gets you that coveted “omg so true!!!” reaction.
18. Oh wait, I forgot a few exclamation points.
19. “omg that’s so true!!!!!”
20. Much better.
22. I’m starting to run out of ideas…
23. …but I want…
24. …to get above…
27. The author has included every single possible scenario in their list so that there’s no way to disagree with him/her.
28. See “74 Facial Expressions A Chemistry Major Makes When They’re Mad.”
29. No shit, that’s every facial expression ever. Everyone does this. Not just chemistry majors.
30. FUCKING GIFS!!!!!!
31. After reading the article, you wonder why you just wasted 34 seconds of your life looking at photoshopped pictures and reading dumb bullshit…
32. …and then you read another one.
33. You think to yourself, “omg, I could totally write for BuzzFeed!”
34. You realize you’re right, because a 3-year-old could write for BuzzFeed.
Byline: Pokey Stormfront