I LOVE THE NSA!

Whether you’re a student preparing for midterms, a professor taking a well-earned break from grading, or a journalist sitting at your computer while a man in a black suit holds a loaded gun to the back of your head, you’ve probably heard of the National Security Agency.

This hitherto unheard of agency came into the public spotlight when former computer specialist and current terrorist malcontent, Edward Snowden illegally released classified documents indicating that, among other things, the NSA spied on United States citizens through warrantless wiretapping and the collection of phone and online data.

Upon stealing this data, the possible communist collaborator promptly fled the country, leaving the few who are still loyal to this shaken nation to deal with the backlash of those poisoned by his lies.

Many leftist radicals have stated their uneasiness with the lengths that the NSA has gone to. This dangerous demographic claims that NSA surveillance is a violation of their “constitutional rights” and their right to “privacy”.

Almost as amusing as this are those who feel the NSA’s patriotic fervor for rooting out terrorism might devolve into some sort of witch hunt.

Nothing could be closer to the truth. Although these times may be tough for “civil liberties”, a periodic cleansing is necessary to maintain the integrity of any free country. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.

It should finally be noted that this writer values his safety as much as the next red-blooded American’s and that, even if he did vote for Obama, it was not because he took his promise of government transparency seriously.

Readers might have also overheard him talking on the phone about how the billions of dollars spent by the government on the military might be better allocated elsewhere (especially during times of economic stress), but I assure you, it was in jest.

Any American comrade who mistakenly views the world through the lens of a privileged, first world citizen who depends on their government to coddle them is sorely mistaken.

The world is a vast hellscape of terrorist insurgents, bent on destroying America for the glory of their heathen gods.

All that a good American can do is keep quiet, pay their taxes, and hope that the powers that be won’t make me or my family disappear into some subterranean interrogation chamber.

by Red Chillington

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