Local North Dakota state police have reported seeing what appears to be a build-up of Canadian troops at the nation’s border. Many are speculating that this move by Canada was brought aboot by last night’s shutdown of the United States Government. Among the federal employees that are being affected by this shutdown are many members of the US Armed Forces.
The Colonel was granted an interview with the Canadian Ambassador in Bismarck to discuss their recent movement. “For too long Canada has taken abuse from it neighbors in the south,” said Ambassador Francis Maple Syrup. “Our socialized medicine, our love of hockey, and most importantly our national dish, poutine, have been the source of ridicule from countless American tourists who visit our lands in search of cheap medicine and surgical procedures. Today we say no more! With the United States government at a stand still our troops will move in and establish order.”
With the shutdown causing a further decline in popularity in the nation’s government, many are wondering if a new Canadian government wouldn’t be so bad. Opinion varied among those the Colonel interviewed. John Gunn, a local tea-party activist and Vietnam draft-dodger exclaimed, “We’ve got to protect our border. I never thought I’d have to worry aboot those Canucks coming for our jobs bringing along their anchor babies and drug cartels. I mean what have they ever done for us, eh?”
By Jay O’Malley