President Barack Obama returned home to the White House late last Sunday after a long day of building his empire when he was surprised by an Imperialist Intervention. Many were in attendance: his closest friends Dick Cheney and Rupert Murdoch, his wife, distant relatives from Kenya, and even the Jonas Brothers (whom the young Obama… Read More Imperialist Intervention (I.I.) Goes Surprisingly Well
An Original Haiku Lovingly Composed To The Beautiful People Living Above Me (Who, from the Sound of Things, Apparently Run A 24-Hour Bowling Alley In Their Apartment), or, The Ceiling Is Too High Up To Pound On With A Broom; Damn It All To Hell You do not care, but. I have an exam at… Read More An Original Haiku
Cat’s Den–What is usually a lounge for casual games of pool, competitive rounds of gaming, and the occasional line of coke in the bathroom for many UK students became the centerpiece for a mesmerizing display of modern performance art today as local artist Kathleen Bendir brought her working exhibit ‘Furthest’ to the Cat’s Den. Bendir,… Read More Cat’s Den Rocked by Performance Art
October is among us, and that can only mean one thing: Halloween. But before that, there’s UK’s favorite late-night event. Big Blue Madness. People will camp out in advance for about a week on the sidewalks surrounding Memorial Coliseum to get tickets to witness the first practice of the season for the Women’s Basketball team.… Read More Big Blue Madness Approaching
BISMARK – Local North Dakota state police have reported seeing what appears to be a build-up of Canadian troops at the nation’s border. Many are speculating that this move by Canada was brought aboot by last night’s shutdown of the United States Government. Among the federal employees that are being affected by this shutdown are… Read More Canadian Troops Nearing North Dakota Border 12 hours into Government Shutdown
The UK Colonel 