Upon her recent and highly legal download of Imagine Dragons’ newest album Night Visions, Estrella Marquez, a nursing student, spent much of Friday afternoon intently listening to the lyrics with an increasingly distressed look upon her face.
“I just think they should probably come in to see us, at least for a routine checkup,” said the medical scholar. “I mean, it’s like they don’t understand how basic physiology even works.”
“Being radioactive isn’t, like, a plus,” Marquez pointed out to her roommates, none of whom listened to or cared about the plight of these poor, exceedingly unhealthy musicians.
“It’s like they’re all chain reactions of one another,” Marquez realized, hastily pulling out a blank symptom sheet to take notes. “Like, that one song ‘Hear Me’ is like ‘maybe if I fall asleep I won’t breathe right,’ which I can tell you right now is sleep apnea, and you need a breathing machine to fix that shit, so good luck with that, and then they, like, develop insomnia by ‘Nothing Left to Say’ which is probably why they’re hallucinating in, like, every other song on the album,” concluded a concerned Marquez.
Completely ignoring her roommate’s polite request to “stop taking lyrics so fucking literally, I swear to God,” Marquez continued scribbling and muttering about how “if they don’t stop tiptoeing everywhere they’re going to absolutely ruin their arches.”
As of press time, Marquez was considering dialing 9-1-1 as the first verse of “Bleeding Out” wafted through her speakers, and her roommates, previously considering clarifying the difference between metaphor and reality, were deciding instead to restrict Marquez’s music tastes to Mozart and European dubstep.
by Rosie Summers