Living Here for the Year With All My Best Friends Will Be So Awesome!

Wow! The time is now! I can’t believe I’m finally moved out of the dorms! I’ve been waiting for this moment for the past year, and now that it’s here, I almost can’t even believe it! I’m so happy I might cry. No community showers, my own kitchen, no RA’s to have to deal with. I haven’t been so excited in a long time. And even better: I have the opportunity to enjoy this wonderful experience with four of my best friends. What more could one want in— Umm… could you maybe pick up that wrapper, please? Thanks.— life?!

I’m not sure what I’m more excited about: the freedom, the fact I’m already done with the whole exhausting move-in process, or the unbelievable amount of pregames I know we’re gonna— HEY. Don’t touch that plate, please. I was about to use it. Thanks.

Anyway, I was saying that we’re gonna pregame here all the time. We have a sizeable living room for dancing, and we have a mega-sized fridge, and we even have a perfectly sized table for Kings that can be extended for beer pong or body shots! What more could you want?!

This was so close to not even happening. In fact, just this January I was thinking about getting an apartment at the Lex with my best friend Christina, but then this opportunity came along, and I was like: absolutely! I’d love to live with my favorite girls! What could possibly go wrong in a house with… Excuse me. Excuse me. Did you really just put laundry on the washing machine? You thought it was Jamie’s? No, it’s mine, I’ll come get it in a second. What? No, I was saying I’ll come get it in a second. Okay.

Chelsea and Francesca can get a little bit crazy from time to time, but who doesn’t, you know? I know that I do. In fact, just last Saturd… is that my fifth of Pineapple Burnett’s? Wow. Put. Down. My. Fifth.

Seriously though, I expect everything to go splendidly! There might be squabbles from time to time but that’s just people for ya. Not everyone can get along with everyone else. Personalities just clash sometimes. But even so, I know that all of us are mature and that we’ll be able to get along and keep the peaces of your Lay’s off of the ground, please.

Anyway, I’m sure that—what? What was that? What did you just say about me? Well, you can suck a fat one because I’ve had it with you. No, absolutely not, I will not calm down. Your chips are crumbling all over the floor. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Right there. There’s one right there. You see it? What do you mean you don’t see it? It’s right there. Wow, you are not making me walk over there… See this? See it? What does this look like? Like whom? Wow, you do not talk about my family like that, bitch. You do not know what you just got yourself into.

Scuse me, I’ll be back in a moment.

By Shelby Appleby

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