Boomslang Splinter Group Promises to Host More Bands You’ve Never Heard Of

While the popular local festival, Boomslang, is into it’s second night of art showcases and music acts, what the people are really taking about is the splinter group that is going off to form their own festival full of bands they promise you’ve definitely never heard of. The Colonel was able to speak to the… Read More Boomslang Splinter Group Promises to Host More Bands You’ve Never Heard Of

Organized Reading of Torah Largely Ignored

STUDENT CENTER—- The free speech zone was occupied today by a number of the University’s Jewish students holding a public reading of what will, by the event’s end, be the entirety of the Written Torah, or Tanakh. Using anonymously donated scrolls (called ‘Sifrei Torah’) and ornate sticks (called ‘page pointers’), students stood in the 85°… Read More Organized Reading of Torah Largely Ignored

Four Out of Five Dentists Surveyed Recommend That Everyone Fuck Off

A new study funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has revealed that more than 80 percent of dentists feel that all patients should just fuck off. A majority of the clinicians polled answered that, in their expert opinion, the public can “just stop flossing once and for all; see if I… Read More Four Out of Five Dentists Surveyed Recommend That Everyone Fuck Off

Jesus Christ, Calm Down – An Exclusive Opinion Piece by J.K. Rowling

Ever since Warner Brothers announced my new project, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the world has literally been over swept with the affection and salty, salty tears of Harry Potter’s fans. My fans. It’s great that everyone in the world, from aristocrats to starving Ethiopian children, are excited for this new project from… Read More Jesus Christ, Calm Down – An Exclusive Opinion Piece by J.K. Rowling