Getting annoyed with your significant other? Sick and tired of being abused, neglected, or not receiving the compliments you deserve? Well now the newest, coolest way to solve these pestering issues is by simply murdering your partner! A temporary case of amnesia and a sad face in the court room is all it takes to join in with this latest relationship killing fad.
Even Olympian athletes are jumping in with the murder crowd! South African runner Oscar Pistorius was accused of murder after coming home and “accidentally” shooting and killing his girlfriend, thinking she was an “intruder.” Can you say self defense? Plus his disability of not having legs makes his approach to the murder fad nearly perfect. A crippled using self defense? Can you say innocent? It’s just that easy! Break ups can be so awkward and messy, but “accidentally” shooting someone can be the perfect solution.
If you’re really angry, you can do what Jodi Arias did and stab your boyfriend multiple times, nearly decapitate him, hide the murder weapons, and then “forget” it even happened! That’s right, you can literally take the stand saying you don’t have any recollection of stabbing someone over and over. Can you be held responsible for sleep walking? Doubtful! To really seal the not-guilty deal, mention that you do remember cases of abuse from the deceased partner, and then shed a tear or two. The sympathy and ignorance of the jurors will surely eat up your sob story, and there’s no way you’ll get locked up.
Studies show that murdering your significant other is the perfect way to relieve stress, and get all of those angry feelings out in the open and maybe even gain some much wanted and deserved attention from the press. Who doesn’t like popularity? Even a reality show could be in the cards for you! Aside from potential jail time and a bloody carpet, there are virtually no flaws in this murder fad. So get out there and start stabbing and shooting people, but don’t forget to not remember what you did!
By Lacy Tracy