Fine Arts Helps Fund Newer Science Center

LEXINGTON, KY –

Dr. Eli Capilouto, current University of Kentucky president, announced last evening at a private donor gala that UK plans to begin construction on an even newer science center, slated to open in the fall of 2018. Capilouto went on to say that the College of Fine Arts would be funding the project.

“We are so incredibly proud of our Fine Arts faculty and students, so much so that we wanted them to be a part of this historic moment in our university’s history,” Capilouto said. “I am pleased to announce that the Fine Arts building will be demolished at the end of this academic year and sold for raw materials. These funds will finance our state-of-the art ‘even newer’ science center.”

After demolition of the building is completed in early May, the university plans to sell as much of the raw steel and brick it can salvage. Additionally, the university has already made an arrangement to sell all the desks currently in the building to a local karate studio desperately in need of new boards to break.

“It’s become quite clear that our college hasn’t been carrying its own weight within the university,” said Dr. Michael Tick, dean of the College of Fine Arts. “It would be one thing if our women’s choir and woodwind symphony were being invited to national conferences. It would be one thing if we had a top-20 opera program. It would be one thing if world-renowned actors were visiting our theatre department. But I’m afraid we just aren’t measuring up.”

University of Kentucky Fine Arts students could not be more excited about finally contributing something of value to campus.

When asked about the recent announcement, junior visual arts major Kristie Hoetz could not stop raving. “I spend six hours a day painting leaves onto abstract-looking trees, so the thought of contributing something actually worthwhile to the Big Blue Nation is so exciting,” Hoetz said. “Plus the building’s sort of been falling apart for a while now anyway.”

Recently, the Fine Arts building flooded in the week preceding spring break. No current plans have been announced in regards to where current Fine Arts students will continue to pantomime, practice scales, and sculpt figurines made of wire. An uncertain future seems to be alright with most students. A sophomore didgeridoo major said, “As long as we have an ‘even newer’ science center, I’m ecstatic. I just want to be a part of something that matters, and this is definitely it.”

BY CHRIS MATTHEWS

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