According to sources, some guy named Hugo Chavez just died. Chavez—  who was, like, the president of, like, Bolivia or something— has left his country or state or whatever it is in disarray. (Probably). Chavez was likely pretty old at the time of his death and definitely passed away due to something boring like a heart attack or a cancer of some kind or something. While some people will probably mourn his death or celebrate it or express other emotions along those lines, most people will definitely not care, as he was not really significant or anything. Chavez— who was much, much less popular than people like George Clooney and Ryan Reynolds and Barack Obama— may or may not have a funeral coming up soon.

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by Cliff Applebottom