Congress Reaches 0.001% Approval Rating

According to the latest AP poll, published Tuesday, approval ratings for Congress have officially reached their lowest point ever. 0.001% of Americans approve of their current legislature. This figure was calculated in a recent comprehensive AP poll, conducted over the past year. People were asked a series of questions, including the straightforward “Do you approve… Read More Congress Reaches 0.001% Approval Rating

Giant Man-Eating Reptile One More Thing for UK Students to Adapt to

The arrival of a gigantic, terrifying, carnivorous reptile sent shockwaves throughout campus Monday. The outrageously aggressive, Godzilla-like monstrosity has caused more than 200 deaths in less than a week, greedily devouring nearby pedestrians and setting buildings ablaze with its formidable fire-breath. The creature shows no signs of slowing down or going away, and its presence… Read More Giant Man-Eating Reptile One More Thing for UK Students to Adapt to

Ten Similarities Between Super Bowl XLVII and Kentucky Gentleman Fine Bourbon-Whiskey

1. They go together well with sex. 2. They provide a good occasion for the Harbaugh brothers to get together and shout at each other. 3. Blackouts. 4. Sitting on the couch with your roommates and consuming either for 4 hours and 14 minutes makes for a good time. 5. Sitting on the couch by… Read More Ten Similarities Between Super Bowl XLVII and Kentucky Gentleman Fine Bourbon-Whiskey

Small Squirrel on Campus Makes Eye Contact with Student

In the most newsworthy event of the past 50 days, the UK Colonel has been informed that a smallish brown squirrel made extensive eye contact with a student earlier today. The student, sophomore Bill Fredricks, claimed that the interaction started as he was walking out of the Classroom Building heading toward William T. Young Library.… Read More Small Squirrel on Campus Makes Eye Contact with Student