Holy Shit! TLC Announces New Reality Show: My Life as the Pope

The Roman Catholic Church and practicing Catholics are in a tizzy about the selection process for next pope. Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation from papacy, due to health related complications, on Monday morning. The coveted position is currently open and the Vatican is accepting applications. The opening will be filled at the end of February.

In the meantime, a merger between the Vatican and the American television network, TLC has formed. This morning,TLC producer Mike Durham announced that the channel will air My Life as the Pope this fall. Durham explained that My Life as the Pope will “humanize” the pope and make him more relatable. After all, “it is the 21st century!” exclaimed Durham.

“Like Republicans searching for the new Reagan, Catholics are searching for the next Pope John Paul II,” explained Durham. “You’ll get to see the future Pope tweet and text, you’ll see him buy books on Amazon, you’ll see him heal the sick, condemn the general public, accept confessions, bless prominent newscasters like Matt Lauer, etc, etc,” Durham elaborated. “You know, Pope stuff!”

How is the Catholic community receiving the news that the Pope is the next reality star and joining the ranks of Long Island Medium and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Daniel Stevens, a Cradle Catholic business executive from Salt Lake City, Utah, stated, “I don’t think a reality show could ever help me relate to an unmarried, holy man that presides in Rome and dictates a religious community.”  But Amber Jones from Santa Fe, New Mexico explained she was excited about the merger, voicing the support of people across the nation:  “I can now just get my weekly dose of faith on TV!”

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by Richard S. Keith

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