Haggin Hall Resident Unhappy With Roommate

Haggin Hall resident Arnold Rappaport stated that he is dissatisfied with roommate Jake (Loughlin) in a press conference a few hours ago. A disgruntled Rappaport grumbled that he couldn’t handle Loughlin’s numerous quirks any longer. “It’s bad enough that he says ‘scuse me’ after every time he blows his nose. But now I learn that he keeps his socks in his underwear drawer, and that he’s never even played lacrosse? I can’t live with this kid anymore.” Additional complaints included Loughlin’s tendency to do his laundry after 10 PM and his infatuation with Halo, a game, according to Rappaport, “vastly inferior to Call of Duty.” Rappaport added that an allergic reaction to Loughlin’s vanilla-scented hand sanitizer was most likely responsible for his stomach virus earlier this week.

Rappaport’s statement came as a shock to Loughlin, who went on record saying that he thought that the two had been getting along fairly well.

In other news, a spot opened up in Kirwan 2 earlier today after one of Rappaport’s fraternity brothers moved into the Delt house.

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