According to an informal Colonel poll earlier this week, the majority of undergraduate students at the University of Kentucky will be voting for Mitt Romney in the upcoming presidential election.
The poll, conducted from a random sample of 535 current UK undergraduates, reveals that Romney has a slight edge over Barack Obama, who in turn has a slight edge over [NBA power-forward] Anthony Davis.
Romney took the top spot with 27 percent of the vote, but it was clear from the beginning that no majority consensus would be reached. Elizabeth-Ann Davies, a sociology professor in charge of conducting the study, said, “I realized that no candidate would emerge as a clear-cut favorite as soon as three of the first ten students surveyed voted for [UK basketball coach] John Calipari.”
Obama took second place with 24 percent of the vote, followed by Davis with 22 percent, Calipari with 10 percent, and [comedian] Louis C.K. with 6 percent. UK alum Ashley Judd took fifth place in the poll with 4 percent, or 22, of the votes.
When asked why they chose the candidate they did, students expressed a scattershot of reasons for their support.
Some chose Romney due to his reputation as a job creator. Others picked Obama for his diplomatic abilities. One anthropology major expressed dissatisfaction with both candidates and chose Jodie Meeks instead, who, “if nothing else, can at least make a fucking 3-ball once in a while.”
A sophomore who voted for John Calipari said: “I realize [UK] currently has the number one recruitment classes in the nation on a regular basis, but a few schools are keeping up with us,” Arbuthnot said. “Imagine if Coach Cal also became President of the United States. We would have no competition whatsoever. Everyone would come here.”
When asked if he thought Calipari would remain committed to UK’s basketball program even if he did become the next president, Arbuthnot seemed confident that Calipari knew just how much more important UK hoops are than running the country.