Ron Paul Revealed as Secret Anti-Colonial Agent

Verifying GOP paranoia over the infiltration of America by un-American forces, evidence has emerged that paints Ron Paul as a radical anti-colonialist seeking to destroy America by fracturing the most patriotic party in America.

Documents detail Ron Paul’s dual membership in the Nation of Islam and the Society for Redistribution for Sons of Liberated Youth (SRSLY), a libertarian front organization for the destruction of American interests abroad and tranquility at home. Both of these organizations passed out subversive literature authored by Milton Friedman, Frantz Fanon, and Bill Cosby. In essence, the ideology espoused by these groups promoted a radical upheaval of the national infrastructure and culture, all under the guise of Chicago-school economics.

When asked about these organizations, Dr. Paul simply sighed and rambled about the “good old days” and how the Federal Reserve was morally and financially bankrupting this country.

Dr. Paul’s son, Rand Paul, junior U.S. Senator for the state of Kentucky, vehemently distanced himself from his father: “This is bullshit! I’m a Tea Partier! My liberty is filtered through and funded by corporate mechanisms, like a real American!”

A senior official from the Republican National Committee, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated, “We are utterly flabbergasted by these revelations. We just kept the old coot around to court the libertarian vote. Utterly incredible.”

Representative Allen West of Florida, a leading figure in the Tea Party movement, has been in a catatonic state since the news broke.

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