Frank Onyon, irritated that everyone has been copying his look – or his self-described “oeuvre” – has been seen around campus in nothing but an A-frame tee shirt, bright lime-green hot pants, and calf-high socks with bunnies on them.
“I just saw everyone around me copying everything I was about, you know?” he stated, nervously puffing on a Fantasia cigarette and pushing his black-rimmed glasses up his nose. “I saw people in tight jeans, cardigans, plaid, drinking spice lattes… I mean, what the fuck, man? It just goes to show how nobody can really do their own thing for too long, you know?”
When asked about how he would tolerate the change in weather due to the advancing fall season, Frank simply shrugged. Suddenly, he attacked a passerby wearing a grey sweater over a plaid flannel shirt nursing a Starbucks cup, viciously swatting the unsuspecting victim with his “BIG RIG” trucker hat.
“What did I do?!” the victim yelped. “I’m just enjoying the weather!”
“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!” came the reply. “YOU KNOW!”