Naming Wildcat Statue Causes Headaches, Loss of Faith in Humanity

Below is the result of an informal Colonel survey of names suggested for the new wildcat statue on campus.

“Wait, this is where my tuition went?” – 2 votes
Adolph – 12 votes
The NEW Ashley Judd – 132 votes
Lee Todd II – 285 votes
Fluffy – 576 votes
Coach Cal – 677 votes
Larry the Cable Wildcat – 678 votes

God help us all.

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