In a widely expected move earlier today, the University of Kentucky William T. Young Socialization Lounge banned studying. The ban comes just months after lobbying and multiple debates between regular UK students and total nerds.
William T. Young, affectionately known as Willy T, is a behemoth five-story social lounge and hangout spot located on central campus. Erected in 1998, it is widely considered the largest social center of its kind in any university throughout the country. In addition to its ample seating, eye-catching design, and fourth-floor private booths, Willy T. also contains more than 50,000 books on communicating with others and 6,500 books centered on the intricacies of social psychology. Unfortunately, Willy T. has been plagued recently by a worrying number of students using its magnificent resources for study rather than talk.
“Today, we have made history,” said Chelsea Overtree, president of Students Organizing Against Participation in Studying Useless Dumb Stuff. “We can proudly say that we have reclaimed these hallowed halls in the name of socializing.” Overtree is the founder and president of Students Organizing Against Participation in Studying Useless Dumb Stuff, informally known as SoapSuds. In the months since its inception, SoapSuds has become one of the most popular organizations on campus, highlighting the widespread opinion that Young Socialization Lounge should be used precisely what it was designed for: socializing.
“I couldn’t be happier that this decision has finally passed,” said SoapSuds member Carly Stonegate. “I can’t think of anything more distracting for a good conversation than having to look at some kid diligently studying his chemical engineering textbook.”
Reputable sources have confirmed that all students using the Socialization Lounge to “privately consume information, gather knowledge, or explore research” have been given a two-hour grace period to leave the premises or be escorted out by UKPD.