Fairfax County Elementary School Teacher: “No DNA Test Needed, I Know What I See”

WOODBRIDGE, Va.—Fairfax County Elementary School Teacher Jeanine Windstrom often feels like all of her fifth grade students have something in common.

“I can’t help but to notice a striking resemblance between all of my students,” Mrs. Windstrom said.  “It’s as if they all come from the same gene pool.”

Mrs. Windstrom’s class gained national attention earlier this week when an angry parent suggested that every student may have been sired by the former President of the United States, Bill Clinton.  The parent speculated that any illegitimate children belonging to the Clinton legacy may have been conceived while the President lived and worked in Washington.

“We all know about Clinton’s legendary exploits during the mid-late 1990s.  It’s quite possible that there are many other miniature Bill Clintons running around out there,” said a parent of Beltway Elementary School who did not wish to be identified for obvious reasons.

Mrs. Windstrom’s fifth grade class at Beltway Elementary School, 2009.

Clinton tarnished his reputation when he was impeached in 1999 after having lied under oath and denied having a sexual relationship with White House Intern Monica Lewinsky.

“I did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky,” Clinton famously said.

Now, it would seem that if the Clinton-Lewinsky tryst never fully materialized, there’s at least a classroom’s worth of other relationships that did consummate more prolifically.

President Clinton’s wife and current Secretary of the State Hillary Clinton could not be reached for comment.

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