Breaking News: President Obama Wins Ironic Nobel Peace Prize

WASHINGTON D.C.—Just days after President Barack Obama announced that he would not rule out the possibility of sending an additional 40,000 troops to Afghanistan, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced that he would receive a 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.

“This is kind of a name-it-and-claim-it award,” said Thorbjoern Jagland, the Chair of the Nobel Committee.  “Mr. Obama hasn’t done much to actually bring about peace in the war torn Middle East, yet.  We hope this award might be a new wrinkle in U.S. foreign policy.  It’s a real step of faith.”

Stateside, many detractors of the Norwegian Committee said that the decision empties the Peace Prize of any substance whatsoever, if it even had any to begin with.

“This reminds me of the school that put Johnny Fratboy on the Dean’s List in hopes that he might recognize what real accomplishment feels like and then in turn do something to get his life and academic focus in order,” said Kathleen McCaffery.  “Is this a sick joke?”

According to the Nobel Peace Prize committee, the prestigious award is bestowed upon those people who “have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.”

In the past year alone, Mr. Obama, the Commander-in-Cheif of the world’s largest military industrial complex, has sent 21,ooo troops to Afghanistan.  Many of them are still recovering from their combat experience in Iraq.  The United States military has lost at least 800 service men and women to violence in Afghanistan.

“We need to open up this war and expand it beyond counter terrorism strikes,” Mr. Obama said.

President Obama joins a well-known list of Nobel Peace Prize winners, including Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s